Life in the fast lane

A lot has happened since last. I am now a college Senior, which means one treacherous stride closer to starting the “real” world, where seven strangers are picked to live in a house and have their lives taped—oh wait, that’s not it. Then whilst celebrating, not so much 21 years of life but rather the first few hours of being 21, I bent the limits of social etiquette to a dangerous angle that would have made fancy people quiver, as I imagine they do. Yes, when the hands on the clock aligned at midnight on May 6th, I was already too deeply involved in the insurmountable festivities to possess awareness of time or responsibility. It was, I think, a great foreshadowing of what’s to come. I won’t go into too many details for obvious reasons but I will tease you with this: It involved sweatpants. MSNBC News. And cookies. Use your imagination to piece together the rest.

Now that you know, I readily reject your judgment.