I totally had a Liz Lemon moment this morning, leading me to believe that I am, in fact, Liz Lemon!! I was wearing some fake glasses (don’t worry about it, I werk it!) while walking to my car just as the sun breached the horizon. My travels in delirium were so early that I saw a couple of fools in shambles on their shameful stumble (hayyy, alliteration!) home from a night/morning of debauchery. Now that’s early, son! So this morning while on my way to do some breadwinning, if you will, I strategically (and intentionally, okay!) assumed a nerdy front so fools like the one in question wouldn’t bother me. I expected all bums in my path to saunter aside in their merry inebriation and direct their blurred attentions elsewhere. But, hey, they can’t all be socially perspective, right?
This bum turned a corner and spotted me with his madcap eyes. Letting his thoughts be known, he hollered, “Hey Glasses!” I panicked as I flashbacked to my middle school days of sporting braces, glasses, and an overall unkempt look. Throwback? If only. Bedraggled androgyny was my signature look until college… sigh. Nevertheless, I thought in that startling moment that my plan to muddle through my day as a hopeless curmudgeon would be foiled! Quite the opposite, in fact!! The bum continued, “Haaay, Glasses! Lookinnn gooooood!” TWIST, I dare say! “Boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses?” Well, the neighborhood hobo begs to differ! Thank you, Sir, for throwing your support—albeit questionable—behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses that are just tryin to hide some shifty eyes from society.
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