Moderation (in moderation)

I write this to you while laying in bed, in the dark. Just today, I have eaten—brace yourself—three bowls of cereal, a chocolate croissant, a package of animal crackers, two slices of pizza, two cup of noodles and another entire box of cereal. I excluded the beverages in order to maintain some sort of dignity. Irregardless (Mean Girls reference), one might have described my appetite as ravenous, but I just call it another day. Once I capped my calorie intake for tha day, I unbuttoned my jeans to release the chokehold on my filled belly. I thought it best before the strain breached the unforgiving woven threads of my sliming jeans. Ironic? Indeed!